*Josh: You... Why?

The Dutch Businessman: I always wanted to be a surgeon. But the boards would not pass me. Can you guess why? You see? So I went into business. But business is so boring. You buy things you sell them, you make money you spend money. What kind of life is that? A surgeon, he holds the very essence of life in his hands - your life. He touches it. He has a relationship with it. He is part of it.

Josh: Please just let me go, please...

The Dutch Businessman: You want to go? Is that what you want?



Hostel
Starring Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonsson
Written and Directed by Eli Roth


THE CASE: Three horny college buds backpack through Europe in hopes of sleeping with as many beautiful girls as possible, but when they venture to a too-good-to-be-true hostel in Bratislava (Slovakia) -- they discover the definition of torture first-hand.


THE GOOD: Whenever I see the title of a film and above it reads: “Quentin Tarantino presents” -- I know I am in for a f***ing good time. Hostel is no exception. Eli Roth, the writer-director who brought us the horrifically good Cabin Fever, now crafts a wonderfully wicked film where torture is the name of the game. With the climbing interest in highly graphic and highly twisted horror flicks in the recent years (ie. Saw, The Descent, hell -- even 24 has torture scenes) -- Hostel delivers us the blueprint on how to do it in an entertaining and engaging way. Believe it or not, I would say 85 percent of the film is actually dedicated towards character development, which is a smart move because once we get attached to our beloved “protagonists” (are horny college pigs really “good guys”?) -- we get to see them literally get torn apart piece by piece and limb by limb. Did I also mention there is also a lot of gratuitous nudity in this film.


THE BAD: Hostel wasn’t as sick or as twisted as I expected. The DVD cover promised me something that was SICK(ER) and (MORE) TWISTED than what people saw in the theater and I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the film rocks -- but it just wasn’t as SICK and TWISTED as I had anticipated (I hope there is nothing wrong with me. Do I need help?). Let this be a lesson not to over-hype a film in your mind before watching it. Kind of like sex. Don’t over-hype it and it will be awesome.


THE LAW: One of the best thriller/horror flicks in the last decade despite my hunger for “sicker and more twisted” thrills. If you are a fan of this genre or just want a good introduction to it, take Quentin Tarantino’s advice and sink your teeth into Hostel. Oh yeah!