*King Leonidas: This is where we fight! This is where they die!

Captain: On these shields, boys!

[Spartans cheer]

King Leonidas: Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.

Persian Officer: SPARTANS! Lay down your weapons!

King Leonidas: Persians...COME AND GET THEM!



300
Starring Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West
Written by Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Michael Gordon
Directed by Zack Snyder


THE CASE: In 480 B.C., something called the Battle of Thermopylae happened where the King of Sparta lead his army consisting of only 300 soldiers against a hell of a lot more Persians in a historic battle that inspired all of Greece to join forces to take on the Persians and legendary graphic novelist Frank Miller to create a book on the battle.


THE GOOD: The film is incredibly stylish and very “visually pleasing” -- as I like to say. It was created in the same fashion as Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City (another graphic novel from Frank Miller) in that the film was shot entirely on a sound stage flanked by blue and green screens. Gerard Butler oozes with manhood (sometimes cheese) and gives a very loud and robust performance. He fits in perfectly with the other 300 loud and robust men who looked like they just stepped off the latest Hanes underwear commercial or WWE ring -- and together they manage to stab, poke, rake, kick, punch, and slash their way through wave after wave of angry Persians. Yes, at times this does look and feel a little gay (especially when all the guys are standing around admiring each other for a job well done) -- but in general, this film is pumped to the max with testosterone. After watching this film I wanted to eat large portions of meat, watch football, shoot firearms randomly into the air -- all while having a threesome with one supermodel and one fitness instructor. 300 is filled with violence, bare breasts, blood, action, loud yelling, and surprisingly some story and character development. Not bad, eh?


THE BAD: Because going into 300 I knew that the whole film was shot on a sound stage in front of blue and green screens -- I was constantly thinking of this as I watched the film. This took away a lot of the enjoyment for me. It created a claustrophobic feeling similar to the one I felt when I watched Sin City and was once again very distracting. The visual translation from comic book to film screen is very good -- but I think the key for filmmakers doing this kind of thing is to remember that a film is a film for a reason and simply translating visuals to the screen in a verbatim way is not good enough to create an enjoyable cinematic experience for audiences.


THE LAW: If you are guy -- go see 300. If you are a girl who is practically like a guy -- go see 300. If you are homosexual or wish you were less homosexual -- go see 300. Basically if you are not someone contemplating seeing Hugh Grant’s latest -- go see 300.