*[from Planet Terror]

Dakota: If anyone comes to the door, I want you to shoot them.

Dakota's Son: What if it's Dad?

Dakota: ESPECIALLY if it's your dad.


*[from Death Proof]

Stuntman Mike: Do I frighten you?

Arlene nods.

Stuntman Mike: Is it my scar?

Arlene: It's your car.



Grindhouse
Starring Rose McGowan, Kurt Russell, Rosario Dawson
Written & Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino


THE CASE: Rodriguez and Tarantino’s latest tag-team production that features two feature length films sandwiched by fake movie trailers that all pay tribute to the grindhouse (a rundown theater that plays exploitation movies all day, often times in double-bill format) movie experience.


THE GOOD: The fake movie trailers are off-the-hook! So dead-on and so hilarious in how they are so dead-on -- the fake trailers are by far the best part of Grindhouse. I don’t want to spoil it for anybody, but with titles such as “Werewolf Women of the SS” and “Machete” and with directors such as Eli Roth and Rob Zombie attached to them -- you can guess just how absurd and entertaining the trailers must be.

Planet Terror, the first feature of the double-bill is Robert Rodriguez’s best shot at making an alien/zombie flick. Having done previous films like The Faculty and From Dusk Till Dawn, he is quite good at pulling off this genre and does produce a fairly entertaining piece of work. It also helps that Planet Terror stars Rose McGowan as a Go-Go dancer with a machine gun for one leg.

Death Proof has a great car chase sequence that would make Bullitt or Vanishing Point blush and is filled to the brim with dialogue that only Tarantino can produce.


THE BAD: Being a huge-huge fan of both Tarantino and Rodriguez -- it really saddens me to say that I was extremely disappointed with Grindhouse. Being that the total running time for Grindhouse including all the fake trailers is 3 hours and 15 minutes -- you better have one-hell of show -- but when the show is not “one-hell of” -- the audience is left crying in their over-buttered popcorn.

Planet Terror was missing all the flair and bandido style that Rodriguez usually injects into his films and to me it just sounded and looked like a Tarantino script directed by Rodriguez (although the writing and directing credit is given to Rodriguez). It looks like a mediocre video game and really doesn’t play with the audience as much as I had hoped for going in.

Death Proof has too much dialogue -- which sounds like an oxymoron considering there is never too much dialogue when Tarantino delivers it, but in Death Proof the characters all look and sound like cheap rip-offs of Tarantino’s own characters, missing the fresh and ultra-cool vibe his characters usually embody. The pacing is just atrocious, even for a grindhouse flick, and the actors are more annoying than likable. Death Proof is oh-so-so bad -- but sadly not in the cool way. (Note: Even Kurt Russell sucked in role he couldn’t possibly suck in.)


THE LAW: My heart is broken. I love Tarantino and Rodriguez... I love grindhouse movies... But I didn’t love Grindhouse. Wait for the DVD folks, I am praying it will look better in six months on a smaller screen.